Purple

Two emails, from two people, but one human
Clearly, you've disintegrated
Into a million tiny pieces
Like sand on the ground
I say "Let's clean that mess"
And sweep you up
And throw you out
Because of your

Two emails, from two people, but one human
I suppose I shouldn't be so harsh
For I too am disintegrated
Everywhere I go I keep finding pieces of myself - my grains of sand
I pick them up and glue them to my skin
Hoping maybe they'll stick
And they did
Until I got your

Two emails, from two people, but one human
Clearly, we're two broken people
And can two broken people patch each other together again?
Can they possibly find a healthy relationship?
Maybe we're doomed to become stupid sand art
A messy mixture of un-matched colours
We're kind of pretty together, you know
But mostly we're terribly abrasive
And I know for sure your black and your white
Have a hatred for my purple.

Purple is the colour of my feelings
A little bit red - in case I ever figure out how this anger thing works
A little bit blue - for I have found the depths of my grief
A little bit feminine - to honour that my greatest mentors are those with less power
Funny now I think about it that purple and pink are so-called "girly" colours
It seems we always knew to foreshadow
The anger the women would need to hold
To survive this man-made world
But of course we couldn't give them pure red
No, their anger still needs to be pretty, and tidy, and
Complemented by a gentleness and a purity -
So forgive me for doubting that my red 
Would be welcome in our sand art
I still think you'd try to tame it
With your blue and your white
To make me
Something I'm not.

So please, come back to me once you've found your green
A colour that complements and highlights and celebrates my red.
Now that's a Christmas I'd come home for
Where anger is a celebrated guest
Where it is met with curiosity and kindness
Where its voice is heard and welcomed
Together we'd transform anger into love
And I wouldn't even need to change colour.

Two emails, from two people, but one human
Deep down I know I still don't trust you
Deep down I know you're still not ready
To hold me.